I know we have been roommates for over two years now, but I still feel there is a great deal of unspoken tension between us, so I am here to clear the air.
If I ever turn into a zombie, you’re going to be the first person I eat. I’ve pictured the scenario dozens of times and I just thought you should know, you’re going to be the first to go.
Continue reading ‘Editorial: If I Turn Into A Zombie, I’m Eating You First’
With coverage of the upcoming election expanding and politics abuzz, I once again have to grapple with the tough decision as to who should receive my vote. And after great deliberation, I have decided for the third consecutive election, to vote for the candidate who will let me do drugs legally.
A Reunion of childhood friends Mitch Bagley and Terrence Newman ended in disaster when their goodbye turned into the dreaded, always awkward, high five/handshake goodbye. Newman, who was operating under the impression that the friends knew each other well enough to use a high five as a parting gesture, was caught off guard when Bagley went in for a handshake. Trying to improvise, Newman attempted to transition his high five into a handshake, but the old friends were unable to get on the same page and their hands were left looking like they were “making out” as described witnesses.
Continue reading ‘Reunion Ends With Awkward High Five/Hand Shake Goodbye’
Bears Line Backer Lance Briggs was furious with running back Cedric Benson for his role in a drunken boating incident, calling his actions “Irresponsible and showy,” also adding that, “No one out-crazies Lance Briggs. Not even the guy in my head who tells me drive my Lamborghini into a pole and walk away like nothing happened.”
Action star and probable steroid abuser Vin Diesel, experienced an unexpected disappointment today, when a google search of his name revealed the number one result was a website for a Vin Diesel from Pensacola Florida.
Continue reading ‘Vin Diesel Disappointed To Find Top Search From Googling Own Name Is Not Him’
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