I’ve been meaning to do poorly drawn comics for the site for quite some time now and I tried to get the first one up in time for Earth Day, along with the Earth Day editorial, but I fell behind because the earth is a cruel, cruel place filled with Hulu and occasional bouts of nice weather. As a result, I’m posting the Earth Day comic a little late. Obviously, I did not draw the eagle - I just thought about him and he appeared. God bless eagles and their sharp, deadly talons.
If this is what all street musicians sounded like, then I would never have any money, because I would have given it all to them. Hell, I’d even write these guys a check. But you know, just wait like four or five days to cash it, cool?
Playing For Change | Song Around The World “Stand By Me” from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.
Earth Day? Who the hell came up with Earth Day? Earth Day makes about as much sense as Casimir Pulaski Day does, which is to say, I don’t understand why it exists, what it’s about or what you’re suppose to do on that day.
It was my understanding that you had to accomplish something cool to be have a day dedicated to you. There are tons of people who are more qualified than the earth, but have been shafted from having their own day. There’s no Jesus Day. There’s no Christian Slater Day. There’s no Kobe Bryant Day. But there’s Earth Day? What has the earth done other than…exist and…make trees? I think it’s safe to say standards have been lowered by those tree-hugging commies once again.
Continue reading ‘Editorial: Now That Earth Day Is Over, I Can Go Back To Ruining The Environment’
As play at Oz Park’s weekly Saturday pickup game of soccer increased in its level of competitiveness, it became clear that local resident Chaz Dockerty had no place being in the game.
Continue reading ‘Man In Flip Flops Clearly Has No Place In Soccer Game’
When I was initially offered the opportunity to train and serve out the remainder of my life as a contract for hire ninja, I was overwhelmed with excitement.
What a dream come true!
But like all things in my life, that initial excitement faded.
When you’re given a chance to be a ninja, you don’t really think twice about it. You just jump right in. You don’t take the time to think about practical concerns like what is it like to wear what is basically a giant black onesie (hood included) in 100-degree temperatures or where do ninjas keep all their ninja accessories since they don’t have pockets?
Continue reading ‘Editorial: Sometimes I Don’t Think My Work Is Appreciated’
After playing a day of error riddled center field, New York Yankees outfielder Nick Swisher, discovered that shutter shades did not improve his defense as he previously believed.
Swisher, who wore the pair of trendy sunglasses for the entire game Sunday night against the Royals, started off on the wrong foot when he overran a pop-up from Mike Jacobs, misplaying the ball by about forty or fifty feet while he shouted, “I got it, I got it!”
Continue reading ‘Nick Swisher Discovers Shutter Shades Are Ineffective For Outfield Play’
Staff Needed For Completely Safe Island Paradise To Work With Harmless Animals (Hawaii)
Reply to: whoeversaidtherearedinosaurshereislying@hotmail.com
1993-05-15
Yet to be named Island Amusement Park is seeking staff members for their grand opening to the public. Job will require you to relocate to beautiful Hawaii where you will be helicoptered into the park past scenic waterfalls, while uplifting instrumental music plays for you.
Duties include zoo keeping, light janitorial work, leading tours of the park, watching for incoming storms and making sure the animals don’t master asexual reproduction due to the unstable nature of their substituted amphibian DNA.
The ideal candidates are people who can keep a secret if, oh I don’t know, the wildlife somehow mauls one of the dockworkers beyond identifiable recognition (which totally won’t happen). Gravedigging and document shredding experience is also a plus.
Continue reading ‘If Craigslist Had Existed When Jurassic Park Was Hiring’
It has always been known that birds are evil, but until recently we haven’t known just how evil they are. As was explained to me by a highly reliable source on the Red Line train, birds are really cold blooded killers who prey on people whenever they get the chance. They lull you to sleep while they peck at bread crumbs at the park and before you know it, they’re eating you while you scale a scenic cliff with an oceanside view. We all remember the evolutionary link birds have to raptors, so it should be no real surprise when they inevitably find a way to turn off the electric fences that hold them captive and lure you into dark lit corridors to restart the power grid.
Troubled pop princess Amy Winehouse recently appeared in an episode of ABC’s hit TV show Lost as an uncredited extra, when she was found wandering on the beach and mistaken for one of the cast members.
Continue reading ‘Amy Winehouse Mistaken For Extra On Lost Set’
This list could easily be renamed Trailers With The Best Music. Because for me, music usually makes or breaks a great trailer. You need imagery that at least looks interesting, but cut with the right music, it can make them all the more enticing. Honestly, some of these movies didn’t live up to their trailers and were pretty disappointing, but that doesn’t change the fact that they were really awesome previews. Let me know if you think something is missing from the list and I will add it.
Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind (2004)
Love the music in the second half. It’s a great movie with a stellar soundtrack too.
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