Hey kids, Carlos here.
I know a lot of you are probably wondering, Carlos, why did you decide to beat up the Gatorade machine the other day after being ejected from the game?
Well, the short answer is that I’m crazy. The longer, slightly less true answer goes something like this.
Continue reading ‘Editorial: This Is All Your Fault, Gatorade Machine’
Every so often, celebrities take a break from their busy schedules to have kids, just so that they can issue them insane names like Jermajesty, Audio Science or Princess Tiaamii.
Today’s list attempts to predict future celebrity baby names and figure out why on earth their parents would name them something so outlandish and soul crippling to their already difficult social lives being kids of celebrities.
Here is your morning pick me up courtesy of Liquid Generation.
Don’t worry, I’ve already started drafting a strongly worded letter to get ”I live my life a quarter mile at a time,” added to the montage.
Just in case you wanted to check in on the Ghostbusters or spy on the Mcallister family from Home Alone, Total Film has assembled a list of 25 Cool Movie Locations seen via Google Street View (soon to be renamed Google Catching Drunk People In Candid Poses).
Now if only someone could figure out how to combine Google Street and Google Docs to make something cool…
Check the list here.
In a desperate bid to attract more customers to their dealerships, General Motors has announced that all 2009/2010 Hummer models will now come pre-made with insulting vanity plates, customized to degrade all the people who will gaze upon your new luxury sports utility vehicle with a mix of envy, hatred and the early stages of emphysema.
Continue reading ‘New Hummer Models Come With Insulting Vanity Plate Already Installed’
This list via Cracked, highlights the dictionary’s recent attempts to be completely unreliable by adding words that don’t even hold up in wikipedia entries, like screenager, threequel and bouncebackability.
It’s a shame that words like these slip into the dictionary while more deserving words like jean-punch, dinoplasty, [Vin] Dieselness, sharkoff, New-Jerseyism, baconglove and high-fiveability sit unrecognized as nothing more than fill ins for the words I can’t answer in the New York Times crossword puzzle. For shame.
See full list here.
Apparently when you mess up on a fake news show, they get a celebrity guest Keyboard Cat to play you off.
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Exclusive - Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat | ||||
|
||||
That’s some good Keyboard Cating, Green Day. Not as good as say, a real cat doing it, but still, well done.
In what Cubs general manager Jim Hendry is calling a brilliant allocation of their remaining resources and a conscious effort to improve their ailing bullpen, the team has signed a mechanized pitching machine to a three year deal worth over $42 million, with an extra $10 million in bonuses and incentives.
The pitching machine, a ten-year-old KidzPlay model that has resided at Lane Tech Prep school for the last decade, pitched batting practice to the boys JV baseball team, amassing a career era of 904.90, which would loosely project as an unimpressive record of 0-115, was singled out when a scout came to watch catching prospect Tim Leonard.
Continue reading ‘Cubs Sign Journeyman Pitching Machine To 3 Year Contract’
Everyone knows that baseball games can drag on forever, especially if the game is being delayed. So, how did UCONN and South Florida pass the time during their rain delay at the Big East Tournament? With a dance battle of course.
This video, courtesy of sports statistician and weekend dancer, Eric Sweeney, shows the first ever ball game turned dance battle since the cast of Moonwalker scrimmaged Prince for a Charity softball game.
There’s a lot of footage to slog through in this video, but USF’s team dance at 3:20, #29 doing an Irish Jig at 6:30 which turns into a full on jig off at 7:00 (Honestly, a must see) and the team tarp slide at 9:20 are highlights. I would call this greatest baseball game ever, but I got to see Mr.T sing the seventh inning stretch last night and that of course trumps all (He’s an excellent singer if you were wondering).
Just in case you think this video is a fake made by computers to discredit baseball, here is another angle.
As President Obama continues to draw criticism for his speech at the University of Notre Dame and his emerging policies supporting detainment without representation, he saw an entirely new source of opposition from his Republican counterparts, when they took to picking apart his performance in a basketball game at the YMCA over the Memorial Day weekend.
Obama, who took a break from his busy weekend to participate in the pickup game, turned in a rather underwhelming performance, at times struggling to run the length of the court, throwing errant passes to White House staff who were watching from the sidelines, all while maintaining his trademark “cool as can be” demeanor during the rather miserable performance.
Continue reading ‘President Obama Draws Harsh Criticism For Performance In Pick Up Game’
You are currently browsing the The Near Truth weblog archives for the month May, 2009.
