Wanted: Paranormal Bounty Hunters Seek Fourth Member, Preferably Diverse Afro-Male (New York)
Reply to: bustinmakesmefeelsogood@hotmail.com
Date: 1984-6-25
New York’s best (and only) team of Paranormal Bounty Hunters are currently searching for a fourth member to add to their highly successful ghostbusting business. Apply today and get fast tracked in this exciting field, which is predicted to be ten times more successful than the laughable “computer” business.
Candidates are encouraged to apply if they have an associates degree in Paranormal Studies or related fields like Botany, Old Testament Scripture, Latin, or Post Graduate Demonic Studies. Candidates who have ghost tour, seasonal haunted house or corn maze experience are also highly valued. Owning VHS copies of Ghost or Poltergeist are additional bonuses.
Today’s website being profiled is thereifixedit.com, a site which compiles photos of people’s half hearted attempts to fix something, like the common but often not spoken about problem of building doors three feet off the ground. This site is definitely a time waster, a procrastinator and very redneck heavy, but that why you’re here, right?
Today, we are profiling new and returning shows for the Fall Season with the notable bias we are known for. I’m sorry, no vampire shows will be covered in this guide. We have a strict no covering vampire shows policy. If you watch True Blood, you’re probably going to continue watching True Blood. And really, there’s no good reason to watch a show called The Vampire Diaries.
Community
Thursdays 9:30/8:30 Central on NBC
Summary: Recently disbarred and disgraced lawyer Jeff Winger (Joel McHale) returns to community college to get his degree so that he can practice law again. Derrick Comedy’s Donald Glover and Daily Show’s John Oliver also star.
Grade: Funny. How funny? Making Chevy Chase funny again kind of funny.
In what is probably the best video game mod ever, some guy took the time to replace every sound effect in Half Life 2 with sounds he created using just his voice. It’s kind of brilliant.
This feature should be available for all video games or at the very least, Mario. I’ve already got my Mario drowns and Mario save the princess sound effects all worked out. Both sound suspiciously like me humming Journey.
In honor of football coming back in our living rooms, bars and whatever sort of pocket sized device you use to watch it at work, I give you one of the best Onion Sports videos.
Existentialism and football, a dangerous combination.
Many of you may not know who Karl Pilkington is, but you should. Karl is the radio producer for the most popular podcast ever, The Ricky Gervais Show, which was a radio show that basically consisted of Ricky Gervais and writing partner Stephen Merchant dissecting Karl’s rather unorthodox view on life.
In this audio excerpt from one of the shows, Karl attempts to redefine the system of time or as he describes it so eloquently in his book, “time could have been invented a little bit better” while Ricky and Stephen try to explain to Karl why this, like many of his ideas, make no sense at all.
It is important to note that while Karl’s musings may come off like the ramblings of a fool, just remember that all geniuses of their time are dismissed as fools. Maybe appreciation for Karl Pilkington’s theories will grow with time, aging like a fine wine. And in retrospect Karl’s thoughts seem very introspective when compared to things floating around the internet like this list of Great Ways To Sneak Booze Into A Football Game and the Kanye West Meme that is emerging (although this is kind of amazing).
And no need to adjust your speakers, folks, there’s nothing wrong with the audio, that just what English people sound like. I know, I was frightened too at first, but be brave. Spread your wings and fly. It’s time to experience new things. I’m looking at you, New Jersey.
