In honor of Lost returning to the air waves last night, the Near Truth has assembled a list of drinks that Lost characters would endorse for your future Lost gatherings. Here’s what we got:

Michael Dawson - Herbal Tea

Michael Dawson would recommend that you drink herbal tea. Why? Because if you are like Michael Dawson, you are going to spend a good portion of your day yelling your rebellious son’s name as he wanders around the jungle getting life tips from a bald guy whose checked luggage looks like a prop bag for Rambo. But with a nice glass of herbal tea, you can make sure you never lose your voice and can always keep tabs on your kid. 

Jack Shepard - Bourbon Served In Popcorn Bowl

Jack Shepard is a fan of the drink. He doesn’t do much to hide it. When he melts down, it’s usually a pretty epic train wreck. Things will be going along just fine for him and then his father gives one of his patented “You suck at life, Jack” speeches or Jack sees an infomercial on TV starring an ex-lover airing during reruns of Seinfeld and he’s back drinking like only a true Shepard man could; chugging bourbon out of a popcorn bowl and then doing a round of karaoke on the ledge of a bridge. Everyone’s got their poison, Jack just chooses to consume his in jug like quantities. 

John Locke  - Rain Water Sipped Off Of Jagged Plane Fuselage 

I’m not sure John Locke really enjoys earthly pleasures all that much, especially the eating of food and drink. I doubt he bothers to salt his boar meat or season his rack of polar bear. I’m also fairly certain that he only eats oranges so that he can use the rinds to creep out attractive plane crash survivors. If it were up to John, he’d probably eat MREs and drink rain water off the fuselage with a silly straw because he’s a nut job. Maybe it’s this Grizzly Adams lifestlye that shortened his life span, but you got to give him credit, he stuck by his guns. You will be missed, John Locke. Just not by me.

Kate Austen - Red Bull

If you’re Kate Austen, you’re always on the run. Maybe you’re running from the law, maybe you’re running from general responsibilities or maybe you’re running from a love square you’ve created with a spinal surgeon, a con man and the island’s resident fertility expert. Either way, you are going to want to stay on your feet and that means lots of red bull, raw eggs and whatever other foods Rocky eats during training montages. Run, Kate! Run! 

Hurley - Wild Cherry Pepsi

Hurley is a multi-millionare. Hurley could have a hot chocolate lake with marshmallow lilly pads. But instead, Hurley dines on hot pockets and chicken. And chances are his beverage of choice is probably something just as random but equally awesome. Like Wild Cherry Pepsi. Or Vanilla Coke. Or Capri Suns. But not Faygo. He’s not Juggalo slumming it.

Benjamin Linus - Battery Acid Smoothie

Because Ben is a cold hearted bastard whose intestinal track is probably lined with candle wax and parts of decommissioned Transformers. Nuff said.

Today’s Lost Links:

- Watch the Premiere 
- In Depth Discussion of the Premiere
- Review of the Premiere
- Golf Tips with Sayid Jarrah
- A Speed Painting of John Locke
- Flight 815 Crash in Real Time (via Lizelle)
- 5 Seasons of Lost Condensed into 10 Minutes